Date Your Spouse · Simply Sather

#60: talk about your future

We just got back from our anniversary trip to San Antonio!

And I’d say we were both incredibly excited about it. One of the things we discussed while dating was how much we enjoyed traveling and were looking forward to doing it together. And our first year of marriage, we traveled like travel agents; or how often I imagine travel agents traveling.

Anyway, during our last Date Your Spouse Date#60: Talk About Your Future, we did just that. And spoiler alert, traveling is still a big part of our lives and the things we enjoy.

For this date, we sipped red wine and snacked on appetizers (my hubby’s version of a charcuterie board) and we talked about our future. In our office/2nd bedroom on the desk that we work from. I share that to tell you, it wasn’t about being fancy – for us – it was about the opportunity at hand.

red wine
selected by my personal sommalier
charcuterie
he did it all on his own

Before I tell you about some of the things we came up with, I wanna say something to the wives…

It was Mister’s turn to plan the date. And he did a great job. His style is not mine and his “presentation eye” is different than my own. And that’s okay. HE DID IT!!! He planned the date, he purchased the wine, he purchased and chopped all the things that needed to be chopped and he showed up and was fully present to discuss our future.

It’s really important for us as wives to let them do it their way when it’s their turn.

For those of you who don’t feel the need to micromanage this kind of thing, go ahead and skip to the end. But for those of you who feel compelled to share your displeasure when your husband’s talents and strengths don’t look like yours or match what you think it should look like, be warned.

If it must be to your liking and you correct and over-correct, your husband may want to quit serving and dating you. There are even scriptures about being this kind of wife in the Bible and they convict my heart + soul.

Let go of having the “perfect date” or the date as you think it should be and be grateful that you have a husband who is willing to learn your preferences and act on them; that you have a partner who is trying, and making the effort.

When I get snooty, lacking contentment and gratitude, I have to stop myself and replace it with a reminder that I can be…complicated. And be thankful that he is willing to show up and try again.

An aside, he’s not perfect and has his things too – he’ll openly admit that – but since I’m the one writing, I must share about it from my perspective in an attempt to shout to all other women who might hear. This is me: a woman speaking from personal, failed experience which I hope will be a “success” or “win” for you. You can learn from my mistakes, just don’t gloat, k?

Our talk about our future included discussing dreams, fears, and insecurities in the unknown. It also included faith, encouragement, and courage in looking backward to see evidence of how far God has brought us – before we even came to know one another. There is travel in our future, there are talks of work-related goals and there is giddiness in imaging experiences we’ve never had.

For me, this date revealed how much more content and grateful I need to be while in the “in-between” when things haven’t yet happened or maybe even seem like they aren’t going to.

Nonetheless, we’ve had another intentional date – we’ve actually had a few, I’m just behind on sharing them here – and am still so incredibly thankful for this thoughtful wedding gift from a friend and the grace we give ourselves as we work through the dates.

Oh and if this is your first time reading about these dates, hop on over to my whole page on dating your spouse for more date ideas – our experiences, freely shared with you here.

 

 

4 thoughts on “#60: talk about your future

  1. I love this! I needed to read this as a reminder, how to be the wife that God want me to. 🙂

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