I know. I can hear it from some of my close friends already…
You just finished the soul tending thingy, now you’re taking on something else?
Well, yes and no.
You see, we just sat and completed our October schedules together as a couple and y’all, I’m a little stressed out. Especially since so many of our events + happenings are taking place the first thirteen days of the month.
In addition to all of the wonderful, good, exciting, blessed things, I’ve committed myself to the finishing the year with energy and zest for life rather than how I normally do it; frustrated, irritated and completely worn out.
It’s going to take some daily discipline (hence the #Last90days challenge) and a whole lot of surrender.
WHY A 6-WEEK FASTING CLASS
This is the why behind my wanting to facilitate a 6-week “course” on fasting.
You see, I’m nothing without Jesus.
And as I move my feet and step into new territory (empty nester + building a business), I am realizing that I’ve not shared enough with people how true this is for me.
I’ve received a lot of complimentary, kind words over the years about how encouraging I am. How discerning I seem. And how good I am with people. Most of the time, I could not receive these things as true statements.
Not about me.
But now that I’m married to the most right man for me, I’m receiving these statements from him (and others) well, but I’m wanting to ensure that I’m helping people understand something.
I did not get to be where I am – the things you like, praise or give accolades to – without Jesus meeting me there and loving me to the depths of my soul. Even when I was acting like a chucklehead y’all.
WHY A 6-WEEK FASTING CLASS FOR ME
The soul tending challenge was wonderful in so many ways. It helped me realize I do start and finish things. That I am quite good at sitting and being still and quiet; really listening to and processing what’s inside me. And that I really, truly, deeply enjoy connecting with other women who’ve been through difficult times and helping them to take a step closer to Jesus.
My method is through asking questions. And direct answers.
It’s how my conversations with my Savior work. I ask Him any and everything, then (or eventually) He answers me directly + clearly. I choose whether I listen and heed or not. (Far more times than I’d like to admit, it’s the latter, but “His grace is sufficient for me.”)
An area where I’m continuously struggling to get solid footing on is being an empty nester.
My son moved out over a month ago. My one and only son. My one and only son that I raised for over a decade by myself after being widowed. That kid was my running partner. We was out in the streets together. I allowed him to go and do a lot of things and have a lot of experiences away from me, but I didn’t ever not want to be his mother. It could be argued that I shared too much with him at a younger age, but I felt he could be trusted with those things. With those hard truths.
Truths about my wounds. My choices. My faith. Even my unbelief. My child knows me and knows about a lot of my sin as a woman and especially as a mother. We are bonded in the ugly, the real + the beautiful.
We became a pretty, solid, somewhat feisty package-deal any man for who would dare approach.
And when Mister and I met, my son’s response shook me silly.
After arriving home from our first date (at Coal Vines, for you locals), I barely shared about the date when my son expressed he felt that something was really different about me and he suspected that it had to do with my date.
As our courtship and love connection grew and strengthened and it seemed my son willingly, but not easily, handed the baton of loving me – the main woman + constant in his life – over to my husband.
And while it’s wonderful to receive the gift of a godly, healthy match – it’s also gut-wrenching to accept that it marks the changing of your relationship with your child. At least that’s what it’s meant for me. Don’t get me wrong, I understand it’s necessary. And what I’ve worked diligently for. It was never my heart’s desire for me to raise my son to be bonded to me in a way that would stunt the calling God has put on his life. Even as a 5yo, I spoke to him as the man I wanted him to be someday, not as the little boy in my charge.
The time comes quickly. And it did for me and my son.
Even though you know it’s coming, I’ve found it difficult not to see a part of my heart everyday. And then when you do see them and see they’ve lost weight, have bags under their eyes and aren’t making the best decisions, it’s difficult to take. He’s struggling.
Which makes me struggle.
And there’s only so much I can do. In fact, there’s very little I can physically do.
So I will pray diligently for the soul of this young man. Through depression, the pain and deep wounding of being without his father for so many years + the development into a young adult and all of the pressure that comes with that – I MUST fight this battle this way. It’s how I’ve made it through the darkest moments in my life, relying on my faith that Jesus always wins. I’ve tried it other ways and it’s brought disaster and more pain.
Even at my discomfort, I will turn my heart towards Jesus and deny myself twelve meals over 6 weeks. I am expectant and faithful that God will work. In my son and in me.
FALL FAST 2018 – AN OVERVIEW
The Fall Fast “course” is just that because I do not know how to make it a membership. If you understand coding or the behind-the-scenes stuff that goes into building a website that permits you to teach online courses, you know it can be a nightmare. My ideas and the content are so clear, but when it comes to putting things into the system, things take longer and it’s messy. But, that’s this season – doing things messy.
Not as pretty or organized or polished, but still available for the most important work.
So, while it’s listed as a course, it’s free.
The group will max out at 25 people to keep it small and intimate. It is not for social media and nothing shared in the group will be shared outside of it. This battle will be fought in private, in prayer alongside a few others.
The weekly content should take you no more than 15 minutes to sift through. Linger on what you like like, skip what you don’t. It’s really a buffet kind of gig. (So sorry for the food reference.)
One recommendation is that you do not skip the scriptures. There are far more verses in the Bible about fasting than I ever knew. Probably because I’ve not paid much attention, because well, I don’t really love going without food when I can’t choose when I eat. I won’t be sharing all of the scriptures on fasting over our 6 weeks together, but there will be plenty of which you can graze. (Again, with the food reference and I haven’t even begun fasting yet.)
Maybe this is just for me and my one girlfriend where this originally began. If so, that’s fine. But, I wanted to take some time to spell out why I’m fasting and be vulnerable in this space since I’m often encouraging you to do it.
I’ll be fasting on Wednesdays – even the Wednesday while I’m in China! – but you can choose whichever day works best for you/your schedule.
I’m excited to see what God is going to do.
Suit up. (Ephesians 6:10-20)