I’m still doing the work y’all.
Since sharing this post last week, I’m truly digging in; cleaning + covering the wound mostly, but I’m digging in and doing the work.
And don’t you know, that as I’m doing this work, I’m being met with some challenges. Just enough junk to make me want to quit. (Yes, again. I struggle with wanting to quit everyday.) But, just as the temptation comes to quit doing the very things God has affirmed me in + assured me to, He also gives me encouragement to keep going.
Just keepin’ it real, here are a couple of things that are helping me navigate the healing on this part of my journey.
There’s something about studying the Bible with just women. I mean, I love my Mister (what I call my husband, for those of you who are new here), but there is something that speaks to corners of my soul. Right ladies?
Like, when you’re going to be a complete and total mess. That you know you’ll need some help getting all the boogers wiped from your face and the dried snot crusties (too much??) are completely gone before you run to the grocery store or hop in the pick up lane at school.
We are not meant to do this life alone.
One of the things that I’m most grateful for is that I don’t know a lot of the women in my Bible Study group, but I do know two. Really well. They are flanking me (and I them) as we navigate this in-depth, authentic study about growing closer in intimacy with Jesus; as we invite Him to our soul’s cry.
I can’t recommend the whole study – today was only the first week – but y’all, the first video with Ms. TerKeurst standing in a field or mini-mountain range in the Holy Land was p-o-w-e-r-f-u-l. I believe that Jesus wants to speak directly to me (and every other woman who took a seat) and that in the next five weeks, there will be some treasures, revelations, conviction and especially growth. It is a huge encouragement that our couples’ small group is currently studying the book of John; the same book of the Bible as this study.
The last question in today’s study asked “what are a few things you are hoping and praying for God to show you as you start this study?”. And one of my answers is that I want to experience true healing. From comparison, from my past, the negative things people have said to or about me. Even worse, the things I’ve said to myself. I want to really know what it means to regularly walk in godly freedom, especially in my imperfection, when my feelings don’t align with my faith and my circumstances don’t reflect what I believe God has whispered into my soul.
It’s exciting y’all.
The first thing I think when I realize Ms. Vanzant’s show is popping over at OWN is these people really don’t know what they’re inviting her to do in their lives.
I’ve been a fan since the early 90s when her television show consisted of women coming into a house – kind of like a mini-bootcamp – and them sitting in the hot seat seven to ten times a day (or so it seemed).
Well, I’ve been recording her show and started catching up on DVR – can you say, no commercials??? – and she cracked me up when she told a person that she was there to help them walk in their truth, that she wouldn’t leave them sitting in their mess, but that they had to be honest. Then she straightened her back and looked that man dead in his eye and said, “I ain’t Jesus.”
And there it is.
It had me laughing at her boldness, but then I’ve said that lately. A lot. I mean, a lot. And then I had to check myself because if I’m not pointing people TOWARDS Jesus, then I’m leaving the work half done.
This was so timely for me, because I really respect that Iylana has done her own work. She’s been transparent and walked in her truth (stuff she says all the time!) and she has helped millions do the same; or at least start to. And she is probably one of the ‘seed waterers’ from long ago.
One of the many things and people who have come into, through, near my life and helped lead me to what God has built and been preparing me for so long – helping people tend to their souls. As a job. For money.
Every time I consider throwing in the towel or hiding my light under a bushel, I see a tiny, but bright light guiding me back on the path – my race – to serving others and bringing glory to God in this way.
But…I ain’t Jesus.
Which, if I may, just for a second, just hoot and holla about that statement – THIS IS FREEDOM people. The fact that I do not need to be anxious, ashamed, afraid, doing it all or fearful of not getting it right. I don’t need to live in stress, depression, stuck, fear or overwhelm. I can step boldly into what God has called me into – unqualified, undervalued, underfunded – and still smile boldly, live faithfully and truly be free.
It’s real y’all.
So, as I’m taking the steps, writing the posts, coaching, planning soul-care retreats and teaching online courses (all of which are in the works right now), I am remembering I don’t need to be Him, but that I do need Him. And that it is because of Jesus and Him never abandoning me through some very, very difficult times in my life, I believe He is calling me to help others.
What about you Soul Tender? How is it going for you on your wound healing journey? Are you cleaning, covering or exposing it? Or are you simply at the place of “walking in your truth” and beginning to identify what your wound even is so you can begin the cleaning process?
Wherever you are on your journey, in your race, I want to encourage you to invite Jesus along. Better yet, invite Him to lead you. Not sure how or what your next step might be? Leave a comment below or email me directly from the CONTACT page.
I will know how to specifically pray for you and whether I’m supposed to be the person to help you as you run the next leg of your race. Make sure you’re subscribed to the website/blog, there are so many things coming your way.
This is the other thing I’m doing, I’m praying for your soul.