I’ve been blessed to be invited into a Mastermind group led by a free-living, thinking Christian woman we’ll call P. She gives of her time and self to facilitate the group and is currently leading about 12 women through a Mastermind group (11 weeks on Zoom) focused on the concepts in the book, “The Power of the Other” by Dr. Henry Cloud.
The book itself is very good, the concepts are challenging and also very compelling but the most powerful piece is the weekly conversation that we have with one another on Zoom. Every Tuesday afternoon at 1p CST we hop on the call, stop everything else around us and expect to share, listen, learn and grow.
P engages us in the group between sessions via Marco Polo – a free video conferencing app – and a private Facebook group (quite possibly the ONLY reason I’d return to that platform at this time – I haven’t yet, but m-i-g-h-t, maybe). She expects that everyone shows up ready to participate and will even re-write questions to push us up and over the walls and hurdles that are keeping us from moving forward toward whatever it is we believe we’re being called into.
When the calls began, I only knew P and two other women that I extended the invitation to (let’s call them S + T). Now, 7 weeks in, I’m feeling like this group of women are champions and cheerleaders for my growth and success – even though I’m not yet sure what that looks like…yet. Being in a Mastermind group with two other participants who knew me before we began is helpful in increasing accountability and success but also requires increased transparency. It’s great!
We are becoming more vulnerable, real and supportive of everyone in the group, no matter the original ties. And it is powerful y’all.
In my last post, I shared about how I speak to myself. And our latest Mastermind discussion, this very broken thinking was challenged. We were discussing a topic in the book: allowing those around you to struggle in their tasks (it’s good for us y’all – all of us) with support. I was quick and eager to share about how thrilled I am to walk with someone through struggles and challenges when they get to the other side of to a place they thought they might never reach. It’s exhilarating!
It has so much to do with asking them questions, making them feel heard, seen, valued. Smothering their doubts and fears with scripture and personal experiences (mostly things not to do). Stepping back to help clear the path toward their next step but refusing to actually take the next step for them or to even carry them across the threshold of that next step. That’s not my place. My place is in the mess – with them; most times, whispering into the darkness, the hopelessness, the fear. Other times shouting when they take those bold steps, encouraging, cheering, dancing and even weeping with them in those victories.
But, I was completely convicted when we were speaking and I realized that I don’t “coach myself” in the same way I coach others. Even when surrounding myself with positive, upbeat, cheerful and godly people, I can sometimes discount their words (and love) as they attempt to smother me and my fears, doubts, insecurities with Truth. It’s so hypocritical. And painful.
That I believe that God has beautiful, powerful, big things for the lives of the women I’m in their mess with but not for me.
So when one of the women in our Mastermind group mentioned learning to coach ourselves well – in order to continue moving toward what’s next for us – I knew this was something I needed to focus on.
In the next post, I’ll share 5 things I’ve done that are helping me coach myself through my broken self-talk toward health and readiness for the next step God has for me.