I’m now legally a Sather!
It’s only been two weeks and really the day of the wedding was truly a blur, but the question I was asked most often before our nuptials was “Are you excited?”.
I struggled with this question a bit because for me excitement has always come with anxiety and an incredible amount of thought. Sheer excitement without fear or worry, I’ve not had a lot of that.
And while folks were well-intentioned in asking if I was excited (yes, VERY excited!) it was a huge part of making me feel stressed and anxious – so in most cases it backfired. It totally reminded me why we were fairly stealth in our wedding planning and had such a small, intimate ceremony.
For me, the biggest thing I was most excited about the week leading up to our wedding day was getting as much moved into our apartment as possible so that I could enjoy living with my new husband in covenant.
(I was able to do this well because of my stellar wedding planner S – she was phenomenal.) Get yourself a fantastic wedding planner ladies!!!
Mister and I had not lived together and were diligent in walking with God in spiritual, mental and physical purity until marriage. I wanted to be completely open and available to experiencing this union as God had intended. With the man that I so dearly love.
“Are you excited?”
Yes! I am excited for the wedding shenanigans to be over. Eager for it to be a day where what I’ve longed for for months becomes reality and we can begin adventuring as husband and wife. Excited about doing everyday life together. Elated about not having to leave our home at the end of the day or going out together and not having to go to two different homes at the end of the night or an event.
But I was also plagued with a bit of anxiety.
I wasn’t sure how my parents (and a few others) would respond to my non-traditional wishes for our day.
For example, I had no wedding party. No one walked me down the aisle. I wore a dress that was less than $100 that I found on the rack of a store in 2015 before I even knew Mister was real and for me. We did not have a traditional dance and there was no cake and some could not understand that we are saving the excitement of a honeymoon for May – (because it’s something to look forward to and delaying it decreased stress).
For me, I have always been most excited about becoming a godly wife to Mister.
Eager to do this season of life (loving aging, ailing parents, watching our kids choose and find their mates and meeting our grandchildren) with a man who I did not know I could love as much as I do.
I have been incredibly excited about making our cozy apartment into a lovely home. One that we cook together in, where I bake to satisfy his sweet tooth and relax myself, while attempting to create and love others with my confectioner’s creations. I’ve also been excited to learn how to live more as a minimalist focusing on the most important things – God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, relationships with others and experiences, rather than stuff.
“Are you excited?”
Yes, but I am also a bit leery. I’ve been married twice before; widowed and divorced. Marriage has been so difficult for me that I was not sure I could or should do it again. But, I recalled a beautiful, real moment with God while on a walk a few years ago where he audibly spoke to me and told me that I would marry again.
I long to be less of the selfish, self-focused version of me and more of the godly wife I believe I can be with the help of the Lord. I want to bake for him, keep our home clean, pour him a glass of Malbec at the end of his long day, hear all about the environmental escapades happening in our region of the country and make him feel like the most loved, valued man on the planet.
“Yes, I’m excited.”
Every bride should be able to say why she is excited, but we should be careful not assume what their answer might be.
Along my life journey of admitting, identifying and owning my quirk – I recognized it even in the week building up to my becoming a Sather.
I was excited to get married because I “had found the one whom my soul loves” and was incredibly eager to begin our lives together as husband and wife. It made sense to me but felt wrong somehow because it wasn’t what people seemed to expect.
Doesn’t matter if folks get it or don’t – God does.
And the most important thing…
I have officially (+ legally) become Mrs. Regina Sather.